I seem to be having a continuous stream of Deja Vu. It started in spurts when I got to Pennsylvania. Today I feel like I’m awake in a dream. It’s not that everything is spectacular yet, as My thought process is not enabling that. Perhaps I have become Awake to life. I Can’t help but wonder if Deja Vu is a reflection of something God has seen play out. Some type of reminder to my physical self of what my spirit has known…
Category: rants
Trying to decipher between Labels,
Am I….
Controlled,
Addict,
Mother,
Girlfriend,
Hard-worker,
People Pleaser…?
Sick,
Traumatized,
Beautiful,
‘A Gem’,
Nerd,
A Friend,
Selfish,
Abused,
Nurturing,
Christian,
Faithless,
Heathen,
Condemned….
I THINK, what I have been is Influenced. Allowing Labels to define what is most precious, ME. As a result of these labels and past experiences toiling through my head I have believed a fictitious story about myself. Meanwhile, feeling as though I am trying to claw my way out from the inside. Utterly discontent and uncomfortable Everyday. Momentary lapses of clarity have begun to give way. Fleeting spaces in time where I feel necessary, meaningful and complete. In these moments I have let go of stigmas placed by me and others. Allowing the constructs of my mind to merge with soul, moving away from the world and it’s words into my home and my heart. Where in I am Outside of Labels. Within I am not what I have done, I am who I am. I am not a story to be written nor a Label to be spoken.
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Written By a friend Who I am humbled to know. For over ten years now I have continually watched the evolution of soul and mind within Dajon His selfless good-will and intellect continues to manifest through words. Let them be today’s Devotional. Put down your religious texts, The Truth is Within our Hearts and Minds. Dajon is just one who Clearly illustrates this.
You can view more of his ‘rants’ On face book.
https://www.facebook.com/dajon.fanelli
“We are the center .
In each of our minds – some may call it arrogance , or selfishness – we are the center , and all the world moves about us , and for us , and because of us . This is the paradox of community , the one and the whole m the desires of one often run in direct conflict with the needs of the whole . Who among us has not wondered if all the world is no more than a personal dream ?
I do not believe that such thoughts are arrogant or selfish . It is simply a matter of perception ; we can empathize with someone else , but we cannot truly see the world as another person sees it , or judge events as they affect the mind and the heart of another , even a friend .
But , we must try . For the sake of all the world , we must try . This is the test of altruism , the most basic and undeniable ingredient for society . Therein lies the paradox , for ultimately , logically , we each must care more about ourselves than about others , and yet , if , as rational beings we follow that logical course , we place our needs and desires above the needs of our society , and then there is no community .
I come from The Nether , city of shadows , city of self . I have seen that way of selfishness . I have seen it fail miserably . When self-indulgence rules , then all the community loses , and in the end , those striving for personal gains are left with nothing of any real value .
Because everything of value that we will know in this life comes from our relationships with those around us . Because there is nothing material that measures against the intangibles of love and friendship .
Thus , we must overcome that selfishness and we must try; must care .
I would rather have my physical heart torn from my chest , than have my heart of hearts , the essence of love , the empathy and the need to belong to something bigger than my corporeal form , destroyed .
They are a curious thing , these emotions . How they fly in the face of logic , how they overrule the most basic of instincts . Because , in the measure of time , in the measure of humanity , we sense those self-indulgent instincts to be a weakness , we sense that the needs of the community must outweigh the desires of the one . Only when we admit to our failures and recognize our weaknesses can we rise above them .
Together .”
The Phoenix Rises …D
Related articles
- The Pragmatism of Altruism (monteoriolocollective.wordpress.com)
- Bertrand Russell Questions (professor2007.wordpress.com)
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Is it too much?
To ask…
To be surrounded by people who do not want anything from you?
For genuine relationships built from common interests? People who present themselves honestly And keep commitments, without expectation?
To work not live, Not Vice Versa. To make an income that isn’t %70 solely for housing?
For rational thoughts, not clouded with worry, what if’s or ‘what will I do’s?’
To maintain and provide from passions, rather than necessities.
To walk a path, instead of running up and down hill. I’m out of breath.
To sped one ENTIRE day feeling genuinely content, and comfortable.
Perhaps… My biggest issue is that I am ‘asking’ for these things instead of making them happen for myself. Or honestly believing that they could…
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I gave my Life to You,
Gave a son to you,
Will never understand,
Why it’s this You Put me Through.
Four years Built from addiction,
Entertaining Individual Affliction,
When He Came into the world,
I had to be the One to remove him from our Horrid Decisions.
I made the changes, I became a Mother,
But it is you who claims to suffer,
While you continue the same path of insanity,
In your presence I crumble, without you We Prosper.
Spare me your rants about what’s been done to you,
Hold on to your words of what I’ve Put you Through,
I’ve done what any Instinctual person would,
When they put ego aside, Let self- will Undo.
This must happen as a Child Enters the World,
My life has become, watching His Unfurl,
I will not feel Guilt for protecting Him,
While you tear me down with each Lie you’ve hurled.
Through each lesson, I continually let you In,
In the hopes that your serious, That it’s Tristan who will Win,
You came into our house, disrespected, betrayed us again,
Showed us once more the stronghold of Your Sin.
Yet again I hold the Guilt,
As you transfer your own Shame,
Thank God he’s still to young,
To understand your Cold Heart’s Game.
Tristan and I will Prosper
Whether or not you chose to Join.
We’ve been blessed with strength and Survival.
For you, we won’t Morn.
I will Continue to Pray,
For you and your best.
If I were to ever see you,
It would be a spiritual test.
One I have clearly not conquered yet,
As my heart still hopes,
for my Son, The best.
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“migraine induced thoughts on the way home from the 2nd trip to the store:
we humans sure love having as many lights on as possible. Porch lights, street lights, headlights that are a bit excessive, the glow of the tv, the computer…
i wonder if we don’t realize the value of light because we never experience darkness….
the other night, the moon was out and bright and awesome, and all i wanted to do was turn off the whole city, so we could all see what our ancestors saw. i miss the stars, i really do.
i honestly think we would all be better humans if we regularly could look up and understand how small we are. if we could still be amazed at what’s out there, what’s down here. the whole thing.
drama and arguments and politics and commercials all seem very silly and pointless when you realize you’re on this little speck floating in space. this tiny thing near this hot thing. and it’s just covered in life everywhere you look.
i miss the stars.”
we humans sure love having as many lights on as possible. Porch lights, street lights, headlights that are a bit excessive, the glow of the tv, the computer…
i wonder if we don’t realize the value of light because we never experience darkness….
the other night, the moon was out and bright and awesome, and all i wanted to do was turn off the whole city, so we could all see what our ancestors saw. i miss the stars, i really do.
i honestly think we would all be better humans if we regularly could look up and understand how small we are. if we could still be amazed at what’s out there, what’s down here. the whole thing.
drama and arguments and politics and commercials all seem very silly and pointless when you realize you’re on this little speck floating in space. this tiny thing near this hot thing. and it’s just covered in life everywhere you look.
i miss the stars.”
Written by, Eric Heran
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What were Adam and Eve like before they ate the apple? The bible tells us of Eden, where they lived, and what they did, what they saw on a daily basis. My curiosity ponders, how did they act, on a personal level? How did they feel? Or did they have any comprehension of feelings? Were they so engulfed, harmonized with God that variation of Feelings and Emotions were obsolete? What is it about these traits that changed after knowledge of Good and Evil was acquired? Furthermore, what knowledge was actually gained from eating of the tree of knowledge? I would love to hear your thoughts on these things. In non- religious diction. How did this knowledge change humanity so much? And what is the comparison from before the apple and after? Apart from the common answer of ‘Man was introduced to Sin.’ Well then, what is SIN? How is it that knowledge gained, gave birth to the label ‘Sin’?
Did we gain knowledge of duality? Balance of ‘good’ and ‘evil’. Clearly we are not entirely from either spectrum, but created within both. They both form one, as yin and yang. We are one within this balance.
Is it because it had always been in our nature to label and name things, that we, by our vary nature continued to do the same. Only now, with the ‘knowledge’ that the other side of the spectrum existed we became aware of separateness? Not seeing the unity within duality. An all encompassing God.
These are thoughts I’ve had. I am passionately curious as to others thoughts on this topic. No judgments, just passionate curiosity.
Related articles
- Lilith, Adam, and Eve and the Disunion and Reunion of Adam’s Soul (alaskawildgirl.wordpress.com)
- Adam & Eve (mjshook3.wordpress.com)
- Two Trees (theromans6man.wordpress.com)
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I thank God for the message about to be given, and my prayer is that a seed is planted within you that takes root,
dies and becomes firmly rooted within your spirit, as the world depends on it, on you, on US.
We have been created within this plane of existence as human. Placed in higher regard than even the angels.
We have been given free will where the Angels are commanded by the very voice of God.
We have been given the gift to choose to accept the Love and gifts of the spirit of God.
To utilize these things, to Love in return, unconditionally, and called to share these gifts with the world!
(ha! too funny, as God would have it R.E.M’s Loosing my religion streamed through my music as I’m writing this)
When I speak of God i do not reference a greying man in the sky marching with a cane and sprinkling magic God dust bring peace and
prosperity to church going people. I speak of the Force from which the universe and ALL inhabitants were created.
The Source of all that is and all that could ever be imagined. He is all of these things imagined. He is The Love within
you, and the Love that streams through you. You are BLESSED to be a vessel, called to light By him, for him, THROUGH HIM.
And you have CHOSEN to say Yes! I will take part in bringing your light and your Love to a broken, contrite, Dying world.
My true purpose in writing this is not to preach to you about God, If he has taught me anything, it is that he comes
to each individual as is fit for that person. Your relationship with God is just that, it is personal, intimate and ESSENTIAL.
I urge you to meditate on that concept alone. An INTIMATE relationship with God – as a Twin meets their Flame God is pursuing
YOU. I am concerned. I am concerned that though we have recognized some gifts we have been given, we are not recognizing
the source and in essence asking idols for guidance. I grew up in a home where the word God was not spoken, nor was the concept
illustrated. We learned of astral projecting, utilizing the help of our spirit guides. We trusted tarot cards, were given
dreams of prophecy. We read of interpreting dreams. We regressed to past lives. . . I went from there to studying any and all faith bases I could from
the Tibetan book of the dead, to the Koran, to Taoism, back to mythology and most recently to Catholicism/Christianity (which
5 years ago i would have shunned entirely). At this point the veils once placed have been lifted from my eyes.
God can not be summed in any one book of theology. But we have been taught this,
God has made himself PERSONALLY available to us. No longer is he in a box, where only the holiest of holies can go, hopefully
not to hear a bell ring as he drops dead to the floor covered in ‘sin’. God is Calling YOU to HIM personally. I urge you
in your prayers and meditations to Go directly to him as the source, there is no reason for mediators. And I Promise you
any real progress you are making within these gifts is a result of HIS will, and your response, not because of the angel, or deity
you have prayed too. Things of this world are either OF GOD or of EGO, people. WE need to recognize GOD as the source of everything
within life. Being the people he’s guided in connection with you, the dreams you are having, the words that are pouring
out of you, the light-headed feeling that seeps into every fiber of your being. Within every fiber of your being you are intertwined
with the same energy that brings life giving properties to the sun. A feeling was stirred up in me today, which I would have typically
interpreted as fear. Though God has created EVERYTHING, everything includes choice. Though God created the angels to love and serve him,
over 133,316,666 (roughly) of these angels have chosen to go against the love and life of God. For each Arch angel their is an
opposing Angel generally attributed to a deadly sin. There are forces at work in dimensions you cannot see that wish nothing
more than to thwart everything God is utilizing your gifts for. Your gifts are not for you, they are for the WORLD, for LOVE
and painting a portrait of God. Making him tangible in an unbelieving world. Be cautious in your practices, always remembering,
remaining thankfull to GOD. Always keeping God at the center of your meditations, for he is the only source. The channels in
which he chooses to reveal to you are up to him, not you for interpreting. Use heavenly wisdom. Head to your heart, and always work in light.
Having been on both sides of this veil, I urge you not to just take my words, hear what God is speaking to you and meditate on
that, WITH him. You have been called as sons and daughters of the most high. Take your place. The world needs God’s Love Now!
♑☥♑
8/17
Related articles
- The Why of Meditation (thehippieroom.com)
- Gifts (nolieblinn.com)
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A friend posted this image from a book he is reading. . . It sent me on a rant. .
I would like to read this book. I am enthralled at the initial question of ‘Why Evil. . ‘ Followed by a brigade of circles talking about Love. F that. ‘The capacity of Love has been annihilated from the psychology of a demon’…? Seriously?!?! …’A demon knows but does not love. The pleasure achieved in doing an evil act is the same as that with a human being feels when he gets revenge on an enemy- it is a pleasure filled with hate.” … But a pleasure none- the- less. Let me be the one to say this Satan IS an entity of God. Psychology of a demon means no more to me than ‘Free-Will’ or ‘Self- Will’. I am appalled at the lack in ability for people to accept responsibility for their own actions. Why go bad things happen? Because People make F*d up choices. God ordained this as a probability if not a necessity to universal balance. What exactly is a Loving God? What exactly do we know of Love? If not only that it is one of the most powerful things we feel which we have no other word for. . . So then, who is the enemy? We are.
Please also see:
http://nolieblinn.com/2013/09/12/religious-statements-confuse-me/
http://nolieblinn.com/2013/09/08/god-doesnt-require-a-script/
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Most of us have accepted the inner pull asking, ‘whats more to this life, whats the point?’ some may describe it as a God sized hole, others may be too consumed with this material world to notice it’s there. But in the beginning (prior to the big bang for you science oriented) all we know there to have been is LIGHT. I call this God. I believe that everything in the UNIVERSE was created from this source including you and I. Would we be able to touch the sun, that gives life and energy to the world? NO way, we would burn in a heap within millions of miles. I believe it is the same way with GOD. Being pure light and love, we, in this state of human existence, are so far removed from what is pure and true that upon direct approach of such light we could not withstand the awesome energy. AS though we are balls of chaotic energy and God is that energy which is PURE. The two can not co-exist without the pure destroying the chaotic. ‘In his image’… we have been created with endless potential to be tapped into, both in the physical and other dimensionally. Bringing clarity to the chaos is to know your potential in union with the creator. These truths are within us, may be different diction depending on person. I know that we have the potential to be in perfect unity with the LIGHT. The same Energy that formed the world is waiting to invade our souls. Will you allow that?
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I’ve been recently posting many pieces of writing, which I have already written. I feel now is the time to share a personal story..ish. Let it be known that all of my writing, obviously, is based on personal convictions or experiences. I share in the hopes that one of you may read and think something like ‘AH! someone else get’s it! I am not alone, and I am certainly not crazy… (or insert personal reflection here).
I was Diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 16 years old. Seems a bit ridiculous, right? It would seem to me that every 16 year old girl is by definition Bi-Polar. The ‘Disease’ is characterized (in broad terms) by going from one extreme flipping from one emotional extremity to another. Or at least this is how I was diagnosed.
I suppose I acted in ways that could be checked off on the MD Bipolar checklist for many years. I was promiscuous, depressed, manic, indecisive. I abused various drugs, went on shopping sprees…. WHATEVER. The list of my off color choices goes on and on. I choose to use the term ‘off color’ for this reason.
Today. I accept who I am in entirety. I am not ‘Bi Polar’. I do not suffer from any disorder apart from being a human being trying to find my identity in the world. I am continuously bombarded with outside influence. Whether it be the loving advice of friends or family, religious groups (who I believe have the best of intentions) or my own scholarly research. I believe I am a spiritual being living a human existence. I believe we all are. This is why life, feelings and choices feel (FEEL, feeling are such a blessing and a curse) so deeply. I have allowed myself to be deeply effected by outside sources as opposed to following my own instincts. I can see how that may appear ‘Bi- Polar’ I suppose in a sense it is. I have been acting out of accordance with my own soul in an effort to please the world.
My point in this rant. Is to say NO MORE. I will not allow myself to be defined by the extremities of others extremities. Instead I will not be defined. I will simply be.
This is only a small piece of the story I hope to share. Utilizing the poetry and ‘stream of consciousness’ pieces in between as insight.
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I enjoy a cigarette and a glass of red wine, all the while condemning myself, blinded to the fact that God doesn’t. He loves me with ripped jeans and far too much sarcasm. The truths he speaks to my heart white out my flaws. Listening ears are a prayer request of mine, as well as a heart without judgment. It’s not perfection I seek, But to find comfort within my imperfection. Knowing, with my flaws I continue to a perfectly unique creation, essential to the universal design.
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You think you know me?
you have no idea
the picture you’ve painted it isn’t clear
jaded by fears from a haunted past
holding relevence other memories last
suppose i should have known from the very beginning…
when it comes to the heart there is no winning
highs and lows tension to release
always shadowed by what the past keeps
suppose it’s my fault timing all wrong
remembering to except there’s a portrait being drawn
when two lives intertwine always an exchange
neither know in the beginning what will remain
said i accepted you for all that are
being candid myself hasn’t gone well so far
i can accept this isn’t whats for you
i can respect that with bullshit you’re through
where my problem lies is even when given the truth
still so quick to just move on through
not normally one to dwell on these things
for some reason now can’t get rid of the sting
gave myself to you in a way you can’t see
too caught up holding hearts key
Everything is Spiritual. 