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Universal soul

I spent some time with god today while laying in the sand.  I closed my eyes and drifted off.  He took me by the hand.  He took me to a place high above the clouds. Where humanity is unified, a single vibration of sound.  Not within our actions or self proclaimed perceptions. But unified by spirit forming God’s diverse dictions.  He showed me all our passions met with struggles fears and haste.  He told me this was a result of a deficiency in faith.  As a species we have forgotten where it is we hail from.  Instead of trusting synchronicity, individually we run.  We must keep remember that we are pieces of a whole. We comprise the source of creation, the universal soul.

A little bit of Personal

A little bit of Personal.

We are all Addicts.




Shut out The Noise

Do you Ever just shut of all the noise and Listen?  It is 2 am.  I am Alone.  Even my Son is absent from my home, Spending time with his Grandparents.  It is rare for me to find myself in a setting where I do not have ultimately, Chaos around me . I’m Consistently either surrounded by the 5 people to the 100’s of people I come into contact with at work daily.  Or at the very least, My Curiously, Impish 2 year old parades about. Even at home it is rare for me to find myself with No company.  While alone I am usually playing music at the very least.  At this moment I am Beautifully and comfortable alone.  My windows are open, allowing the Perfectly Chilled, Polar air to brisk through my home.  I am engulfed within such solitude it’s as though my hearing has improved.  My ears have given way to Every Crackling blade of glass, in the absence of distraction.  I recognize so many individual Sounds, Vibrations, singularly.  I am awe struck.  In this lack of distraction, Sounds of has became my keenest sense. Trains Horning, a genuine hum that makes you assume machines are running, Wheels on pavement, Chirps of Toads and Crickets, Mysterious Crepitant bustles heard from the leaves and pavement…  I Can’t wait to explore what My Mind hears when I am able to Shut out  even this noise, having recognized the sensitivity of sound.  Have you ever just shut out the Noise and Distractions?

I’ve let my focus shift away from you
Though I know your within
I act though thats untrue

Cling on to this life
With all that I have
should be reaching inward, but it’s forward I grab

Bring my heart back to you
Divert my thoughts
Force actions and motives to be planted in truth

Strength through convictions
Love that’s unconditional
Rest within the storms
Wisdom  beyond what’s rational

Break down dimensional walls
Spiritually affluent
With ears to hear your call


Thoughts *Must Watch*

Mind Blown! This whole series can be seen on You Tube


The first step to enlightenment is knowing that you will be a lifetime philosopher, never completely ‘getting it’ ❤

Wisdom from Buffy



“I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming who ever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m- or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.”

What Is A Twin Flame/Twin Soul?


We are all innately born with different gifts and ways of serving, for all to benefit. These Gifts are given by God and are pertinent to manifesting Love in a suffering world,  When acknowledged and used without self-full-filling motives.
As individuals these gifts manifest differently. Where as I may be gifted with people, possessing empathy and a genuine Love and curiosity …
for people, another may be a musician, artist writer. Another may be gifted intellectually, another with dreams. Some of us are great with children, others are masters with discernment and prayer. . . These are just a few examples – I’ve seen that those things that we are genuinely passionate about and seem to possess an innate desire and ability to perform must be evidense we are created in God’s image.
These things come together forming a tangible aspect of God, when we act in Loving intent. I keep making reference to motives, and Gifts being for all to share. Regardless of your choice of faith I believe these things are within you. M y recent studies have been in the New English Standard Version of The Bible. For a bit more info there is teaching on these things in 1Corinthians 12 and also a glimmer in Acts 13. Throughout religious congregations you often hear of people speaking in tongues, or having these holy visions. But I am hear to tell you this – These things are intended for the benefit and communion of all. We desire relationship – God desires relationship – we live this through meditation and fellowship with another.
When the apostles first spoke in ‘tongues’ they were not speaking an unknown language that was between them and God or Angels. They were given spiritual knowledge to speak in the languages of the those surrounding who did not understand Hebrew. God in his infinite desire for intimacy (in which we share) saw that all would be able to communicate and understand the Strength and gifts that come through Love. It is important that we do not define ourselves and self worth through others gifts – but instead meditate with focus on God and the collective, being thankful for our own strengths and how they may be beneficial to the rest of the body. Manifestations of the Spirit, the purest essence of God show through actions of Love. Selfless actions that we chose to perform because we know it is the right thing to do. Love is patient and kind, Love does not want of covet, Love does not fear or worry. I say this list to answer the question ‘How do I know if I’m acting in Love?

Comfortable Imperfection

I enjoy a cigarette and a glass of red wine, all the while condemning myself, blinded to the fact that God doesn’t. He loves me with ripped jeans and far too much sarcasm. The truths he speaks to my heart white out my flaws. Listening ears are a prayer request of mine, as well as a heart without judgment. It’s not perfection I seek,  But to find comfort within my imperfection.  Knowing, with my flaws I continue to a perfectly unique creation, essential to the universal design.


“Living, am i really living?

Or am i just existing, hiding away?

danger, the world is full of danger,

but if i never tried to go outside,

my heart would waste away

come and save me,

your the only, source of all the peace i need

so desparately, come and save me”


-JJ Heller

A thought

The Matt Walsh Blog

Our governor here in Kentucky has decided to implement the new Common Core “Next Generation” science standards. Progressives are celebrating this move for a few reasons : 1) It will put us in line with many other states, which is great because we all know a diverse and enriching education must be in utter uniformity with the national collective and in compliance with the federal agenda. 2) The criteria calls for a renewed emphasis on man-caused climate change and, of course, evolution. Evolution — atheistic, nihilistic, materialistic, mindless evolution — must be taught as fact, without other ideas presented to compete with the theory.

Proponents say that atheistic evolution is the only thing that belongs in the classroom because religion and science just don’t mix. I agree, partially at least. Some religions don’t gel with science — religions like Scientology or, say, Atheism. The followers of the COA (Church of…

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I am humbled by the overwhelming response I am receiving to these posts. I have always found writing to be an honest heartfelt confession with the ability to transcend spoken words and emotions. My hope is to inspire and provoke thought; To share in my weakness that others may be built up. As you can imagine, following your passions is not always monetarily sufficient. If it is on your heart to do so, you may donate here. Donations will help me to continue doing what I love, and have the ability to share with you.

Sending love to you all!

in lak’ech


Love This!

The Truth You Always Knew

Competition from this point on, seems to be a mistake.

Better to wait until everyone realizes we’re only competing against ourselves.

Human Shit.

We got this shit.

Because it’s our shit.

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Enoch Tan

“We may think that everything we are experiencing in our external reality is a reflection of our inner consciousness, therefore when we see negative events that we feel we aren’t presently creating, we become confused and frustrated. We start doubting the law of attraction and our reality creation powers. The truth is that although the outer world is a reflection of the inner world, it is only a partial reflection. What we see in the visible world is not all there is.

Like the tip of an iceberg, there is a whole portion that remains submerged under the surface of the water. The outer world is the exposed portion while the inner world is the hidden portion. When we create reality by setting an intention, there is an entire process of events that appears in the inner world. Each event is connected to another until finally the full manifestation of the intention is realized. What we see in the outer world is only part of the process as it unfolds over time.

When we see bad things happening, we wonder why it is so when we know we did not consciously intend them to happen. When we set an intention to create wealth, we may encounter loss. When we set an intention to have a better relationship with someone, we encounter obstacles or conflict to make it worse. Actually what we are facing is only temporary. Those very events that appear as bad are really not bad at all. They are just part of the process of things turning into our greatest good.” ♀

-Enoch Tan

A random thought of ‘God’

It’s as though he is both watching and experiencing vicariously, through each life.

“If true unity …

“If true unity is to be attained in this global society, we must come to accept what Sufi masters have always insisted upon: that there are as many paths to God as there are people and that all these different paths ultimately lead to the same place: the Absolute Truth, which is, in fact, one and the same for everyone”

-Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh

Sufi Issue 19


It’s been proven that the human body is designed to regenerate it’s own skin every 7 days. as well as each cell in our skeletal system every 7 years.  With the skeletal system ultimately being our framework, I see this age of 28, being crucial.  My thoughts are abstract in this spectrum but the revelation is significant never- the- less. 

My world view is expanding.  Clarity has found me as I reflect upon the person I have been.  The mythological world I’ve reveled in only to transition through loss and rise through destruction.  Now i look forward.  Replacing rose-colored glasses with a clear lens.  I thirst for wisdom and purpose.  Bombarded endlessly with information, my mind runs free.  Even in dreams, either I run or I search.  Tears shed and fears exposed bring forth discernment.  I look forward to the future, digress from the past and shift my focus to Now.

‘Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?’

A.A. Big Book, 3rd Edition, William G. Wilson, page 63

Why I’m proud my 2 y/o knows superheroes before numbers (pt 1).

You might be a Nerd if… (part 2).

Hate is a very strong word. One I prefer not to use, but I am guilty of extreme fits of emotion that feel hateful. The same goes for words like every, always, never, only, promise and the phrase ‘Im telling you the truth’. At this point my faith in the choice words people use is non-existent. But the pain of those words sting none- the -less.

Through Christianity and other faiths teach of blessings and cursing… by definition to Bless someone is to speak well of them and in doing so literally send forth good things their way. To curse someone by speaking ill of them is as sending evil/curses their way.

In 1994 Dr. Masuru Emoto theorized that water would be directly effected by it’s environment in conjunction with human consciousness.  He essentially took twice purified (considered ‘pure’ water), and separated it into multiple containers.  For each specimen Dr. Emoto either spoke a particular word or phrase in a controlled setting, such as ‘love’, ‘peace’, ‘you make me sick, I will kill you’ and so on.  With others he played various types of music including metal, classical and folk.  the effect of prayer or lack there of was also calculated.  The water was then frozen for several days, examined under a dark field microscope while frozen.  And finally photographed.  Each crystal was drastically different than the next.  At a molecular structure water was effected and perhaps changed entirely.  I make reference to this well known experiment only to talk about our physical make- up being comprised of about 70-85% water.  I am of the thought, if basic water molecules are effected in such a way than this proved theory is evidence that our bodies are no different.

Regardless of faithful affiliation or intellect the power of choice in words is evident.  It may feel that emotionally we can become out of control but we stay the masters of our actions.  And when faith a science balance in this way I believe we should accept the lesson.


Often the pains of rejection run so deeply that they only surface once we revel on the question ‘what happened to my life?’ Upon hearing wise words from Dr. Charles Stanley something in me began to shift and become aware. Even in the presence of My Creator and Universal Father I have condemned my actions and self for the majority of my life. However to every feeling every action there is a source.

Rejection has become part of the human condition. A condition that goes undetected until we are confronted with the source. In my life it has manifested in this way: My earliest memories of my Father consist of two events 1. I was challenged on the monkey bars in kindergarten. Another child believed I could not walk across the top of them. They were right, I fell off. My mother was away at work while I was in my Fathers care at the time. Two days passed where I could not move my arm and screamed in pain at the touch of it, before my father called my mother to come home and deal with the situation. 2. I wanted to do something nice for my parents…Mop the kitchen floor. I proceeded to use dish soap to do so, resulting in a mass of soap suds encompassing the kitchen. This is one of my first memories of my father and the first time I remember being yelled at.

My parents divorced by the time I was 10. About a year after that my Grandmother died, who had been crucial in my life. My mother needed to tend to funeral arrangements.  I called my Father to come be with my brother and I through this time. He was unable. I do not mention these things in anger or any type of condemnation towards my Father, but only to bring to light a source of early deeply seated rejection in my life. A rejection which I believe whole hardheartedly he never meant to place within me.

Rejection holds an ugly face and often surfaces through the ones we Love and crave love from. My relationship with my father through my teen years was minimum at best.

Here’s the manifestation of this deep rooted pain that I chose not to acknowledge or deal with. By 14 I began drinking and using recreational drugs. At 17 I gave my purity to a man who also rejected me choosing cocaine over my affections. I went on to college with a full scholarship which I squandered, choosing to drink and participate in numerous relations with men, in which I felt some sense of ‘control’, clearly I was mistaken. I left my full scholarship a year and a half into college and moved to west palm where I began to bar-tend and use Oxycontin, feeding and numbing my own insecurities. My relations with men continued, with intermediate relationships in between. Within these relationships I pushed away three men in particular who showed me unconditional love. The bondage of rejection had become so deep at this point that I could not accept real love from anyone, especially men. I did not Love or accept who I was. There were two other men who I ‘Loved’ deeply…In both relationships I felt the same pains of rejection continually, but could not recognize them as that. These relationships seemed normal to me. I continued to use Oxycontin and other various substances for 8 years.

In my most recent relationship I was given a Beautiful Son. His father is not currently involved with our lives. I used to think my drug use was the source of my problem. In sobriety I now see it was a symptom. As I had not yet dealt with early, deep seated pains of rejection. I began to see these feeling re-surface, feeling as though my sons father had abandoned us for his own needs. As well as feeling the same pains with My father seemingly not wanting a relationship with his Grandson.

Again I say these things not placing blame, but becoming aware, and painting a picture of the results of not facing the truths within. The Truth is these people never meant to hurt me. My sexual and drug use was a result of me not finding my own self worth and instead placing it with the opinions of others. 

I am a Child of the creator
I am alive for a purpose
I am beautiful
I am caring
I have the ability to create
I have the capacity to Love and be Loved

And I don’t need another person to make these things manifest through me, the spirit within me will cause these things to manifest.

My story may be individual to me. But we are all suffering. My prayer is that these deep seated issues of the soul are brought to the surface so that we might move forward and have Life without Bondage of the past.

I’ve been kept silent in wreckage for far too long. With the chains of intimidation. Removing fear of rejection I break Free, Speak out, and Stand Tall.
We don’t need less evil, we Need more Good – We Shouldn’t fear evil but instead do what is right.

I am not the source
Of this void you feel within
The one compelling you
To entertain his sin

I don’t speak in judgment
… But from personal convictions
I’ve fought off his same daemons
I entertained the sickness

It was not my words
That fed your loneliness
Perhaps just perpetuated

What your heart sees a mess

You’ve made your choice I once did too
Said I would never leave
Then his daemons came upon me,

a butcher with a cleave

Drawing from my emotion
From the light I carry within
Only giving birth to tragedy
A game with no win

Manipulation is tricky
A cold and heartless game
My brutal honesty comes from love for you

Spare you from his shame

I’ve learned a thing or two since then
It happens often walking through fire
True love is not of taking
True love makes souls transpire

As the two become one
we tear the haughty down
two hearts fixed on one goal
where loves glory will abound

constantly in agreement
forever bound together
fight is not an argument
but an opportunity to grow further into each other

love does not tear down
but builds and re builds again
true love is told as fates red string
no battle to win

souls conjoined in matrimony
from the foundations of existence
two who belong together
perpetuate loving conditions

not just to each other
but to the world they’ve been enlisted
not to enable inadequacies
but to suture up the stitches

Empty apologies are what we have become. You chose to rant, I’m forced to run. Lullabies in a sullen voice. Fearful, yet I’ll keep my poise…

Allow the Space

In the stillness of silence we perceive
Through clutter and chaos we’ve become deceived

Taken from the roots of our primordial self
Forgotten our vital sustenance comes through spiritual health

Consumers we’ve become trying to fill a God sized hole
Forgetting it is only He who will heal our soul

Burn down your world holding empty desires
Selfish pride as your ego conspires

Available to you gifts of Love, wisdom and Grace
He will fill your void if you allow the space

Surrender your power to the one who can
Live life in unison with the One I Am

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