Tag Archive: christian


Shut out The Noise

Do you Ever just shut of all the noise and Listen?  It is 2 am.  I am Alone.  Even my Son is absent from my home, Spending time with his Grandparents.  It is rare for me to find myself in a setting where I do not have ultimately, Chaos around me . I’m Consistently either surrounded by the 5 people to the 100’s of people I come into contact with at work daily.  Or at the very least, My Curiously, Impish 2 year old parades about. Even at home it is rare for me to find myself with No company.  While alone I am usually playing music at the very least.  At this moment I am Beautifully and comfortable alone.  My windows are open, allowing the Perfectly Chilled, Polar air to brisk through my home.  I am engulfed within such solitude it’s as though my hearing has improved.  My ears have given way to Every Crackling blade of glass, in the absence of distraction.  I recognize so many individual Sounds, Vibrations, singularly.  I am awe struck.  In this lack of distraction, Sounds of has became my keenest sense. Trains Horning, a genuine hum that makes you assume machines are running, Wheels on pavement, Chirps of Toads and Crickets, Mysterious Crepitant bustles heard from the leaves and pavement…  I Can’t wait to explore what My Mind hears when I am able to Shut out  even this noise, having recognized the sensitivity of sound.  Have you ever just shut out the Noise and Distractions?

Bevis McGuire

“To those that suffer I hear your cries. Whether it’s doubt, fear, sadness, or anger I promise you a time of clarity and balance. As I began to unravel my true self and ceased to resist the flow, my life was soon followed by an abundance of… beauty and understanding that has inspired me to achieve beyond my wildest dreams. So challenge your thoughts to be positive and true, challenge your love to be vast and unconditional, challenge yourself because you deserve more then a nice house and a good job…you, me, and the world deserve to be set free. Set free from outdated traditions, expectations, stereotypes, resentments, all the things this failing world insist you do only to get you further away from understanding your limitless value. There is a part of you that is a part of it all and as you learn to love and trust that piece you will awaken and gratitude itself will open new doors for you.” ~ Bevis McGuire @ http://bevismcguire.tumblr.com/

 

Light Warriors

“Every Warrior of the Light has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every Warrior of the Light has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone.
Every Warrior of the Light has trodden a path that was not his.
Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
Every Warrior of the Light has, at least once, believed he was not a Warrior of the Light.
Every Warrior of the Light has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every Warrior of the Light has said ‘yes’ when he wanted to say ‘no.’
Every Warrior of the Light has hurt someone (s)he loved.
That is why (s)he is a Warrior of the Light, because (s)he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than (s)he is.”

~ Paulo Coelho

 

I heard God’s Voice once

I Heard God’s voice Once

In auditory Norm

His voice came through a Muse

Expressing his Freeform

Over come with astonishment

Humanity in his diction

I could not help but say to him

“This is it?! And I’m Not a Christian.”

That didn’t seem to matter

He spoke clearly his reply

“What did you expect my Love?”

“A man up in the sky?”

Tears streamed down my cheeks

That or my face was leaking

Water from my soul

Which God said he was releasing

He told me it was Me

Who caused my own torment

That he felt each breath of pain I felt

Experienced my Laments

I asked how is it possible

To be released from such travail

God said he would remove the bars

Release me from my cell

From my own Captivity

A prison built from desire

To please the world and myself too

He would set this world on Fire

A contrived view of myself

He said was my affliction

That self defeat, and people pleasing

Had become an addiction

I now don’t hear his Voice

But his message was very clear

Be Bold through iniquities

Don’t give into fear

You may only be courageous

In the midst of dread and anxiety

God told me I was free

To live the way I pleased

He seemed very confident

I’m Living the life he’s given

In exactly the way that’s meant to be

Purposeful and Sufficient

He finally begged and pleaded

I would leave my misinterpretations behind

Let go of extremities

Stop allowing self to be defined

My life is one portrait

A show of what God is

In human fleshly form

Where God lives from within

He experiences through me

all that I endure

For the pain that I have suffered

Acceptance is the cure

The treatment lays in Living

A life passionately

Not questioning every motive

And using my heart to see

Know Your Enemy?

A friend posted this image from a book he is reading. . . It sent me on a rant. .

A friend posted this image from a book he is reading. . . It sent me on a rant. .

I would like to read this book.  I am enthralled at the initial question of ‘Why Evil. . ‘ Followed by a brigade of circles talking about Love.  F that.  ‘The capacity of Love has been annihilated from the psychology of a demon’…? Seriously?!?! …’A demon knows but does not love.  The pleasure achieved in doing an evil act is the same as that with a human being feels when he gets revenge on an enemy- it is a pleasure filled with hate.” … But a pleasure none- the- less.  Let me be the one to say this Satan IS an entity of God.  Psychology of a demon means no more to me than ‘Free-Will’ or ‘Self- Will’.  I am appalled at the lack in ability for people to accept responsibility for their own actions.  Why go bad things happen?  Because People make F*d up choices.  God ordained this as a probability if not a necessity to universal balance.  What exactly is a Loving God? What exactly do we know of Love?  If not only that it is one of the most powerful things we feel which we have no other word for. . .  So then, who is the enemy? We are.

Please also see:

http://nolieblinn.com/2013/09/12/religious-statements-confuse-me/

http://nolieblinn.com/2013/09/08/god-doesnt-require-a-script/

We are all Addicts

So Interesting. Addiction has become a human condition.  Drugs and alcohol are only included in the ‘addiction’.  All of these things are symptoms to the problem, which ultimately is a deeply rooted spiritual problem that manifests in us, just wanting to feel something different than we already do.  We want to change the Gaping hole of destroyed self- worth, condemnation, regret, and a genuine feeling of unhappiness ALL the time.  We try to find labels to make ourselves feel better, or more worthy members of society.  Jobs, relationships, sex, drugs (insert drug of choice here), religion, charity. .  pick your poison.  Bottom line is most of us spend a life time trying to Feel Better.  The ultimate rock bottom, as I see it, Is not over- dosing or ‘loosing it all’.  Rock bottom is when you realize that none of these things work.  None of these things take away the all consuming pain you feel every second of every day.  In fact all of these ‘symptoms’ only contribute to your unyielding burning in the for of guilt and resentment.  I have not yet UN-locked the secret to happiness.  I believe it starts with our thought process, and I’m told a Higher- Power must be present to fill this void we encounter.  For me, I’ve been learning that I am actually in control of my life, and that I am capable of perusing the things I am passionate about.  I still feel a struggle hourly, sometimes momentarily as I fear the next thing that may happen.  But I then have to remind myself that, in the epic storyline of events transpired in my life, everything has seemed to work out.  I do believe in God, a Higher- Power.  I can’t imagine him as a parent figure, My parents, I don’t believe are the best model for this, unless God’s ‘Love’ is conditional.  I suppose I follow a spirituality similar to Nhat Hanh,  I believe ‘being in the image of God’, we posses the power to effect the world around us, beginning with ourselves.  I believe God reveals himself in many forms, personal to the individual who seeks. I see God as a collective consciousness, inhabiting everyone and everything.  I see God as all encompassing ‘good’ and ‘evil’.  He must be? I have been on a quest to find exactly what My Concept of God is.  Though I have not entirely figured it out yet, I know this is the piece I am lacking.  And what my heart is desperately searching for.

 

Comfortable Imperfection

I enjoy a cigarette and a glass of red wine, all the while condemning myself, blinded to the fact that God doesn’t. He loves me with ripped jeans and far too much sarcasm. The truths he speaks to my heart white out my flaws. Listening ears are a prayer request of mine, as well as a heart without judgment. It’s not perfection I seek,  But to find comfort within my imperfection.  Knowing, with my flaws I continue to a perfectly unique creation, essential to the universal design.

 

What is it to be Free?

sins forgiven , set apart

bondage broken, from before the start

chosen for light before the foundations of the world

created with gifts, constantly becoming unfurled

this is all great head knowledge

deep within my heart there’s much left to dredge

is there a difference between heart, and soul?

or are the connected? to repair only one hole?

is there a key to make concepts real?

one that unlocks suppressions seal?

there was a time once I lived with no remorse

lived through chaos, let nature take its course

I feel as though I had it more together then

before I bit the apple and dove right down it

I’m finished trying to figure this all out

not giving up faith, just admitting it’s something I know nothing about

In fact at this point I claim to know absolutely nothing

not whats happened, what I’m feeling, or whats coming

I think inevitably it’s better that way

free from expectations is where i will stay

free from delusions of how life’s supposed to be

from what it means to actually be free

love Yourself

Saw these words today ‘Love others as you Love yourself’and began to realize that Loving others is qualified by how we Love ourselves. We spend more time with ourselves than with anyone else…How do you feel in our alone time? Do you enjoy spending time with you? My challenge for myself and for any feeling compelled to accept, is ENJOY who you are. Love your quirks & flaws. Love the things you consider good traits, it’s not vanity it’s necessity. Love those things you would consider negative traits. Remember that we unite in our shortcomings, our weaknesses…not in trying to one-up each other. I believe we need to truly learn to Love ourselves, live passionately, be bold in what is True. Then we may begin to pour this out to a needing world around us..There’s no time to waste..

I Am.

Whether good or bad hold experience near, let it be guidance through lives paths and it’s fears.

Fear and darkness, blinded to whats ahead, allow yourself strength without the burden of dread.

True love is constant, always unconditional. Without judgment, true friends will reach out when you fall.

It’s up to you to open your heart, let go the unyielding pain you consume from when it was torn apart.

Ridiculous as it seems, life’s highs are the best. More powerful, less destructive than any drug you ingest.

Natural euphoria, bearing no regret. Hold on to nostalgia, incidents you could never forget.Don’t take for granted the positive things you are given. Life without happiness is a life without living.

I Am

Repression falls, reaping redemption bliss,

worlds collide, dark receiving lights kiss.

Two become one, in the eternal matrimony,

singing sweet hymns of his righteous harmony.

 

I Am with a face

I Am within your dreams

I Am all your thoughts

I Am the unseen

Relax your mind.

Rebuke your eyes

As I Am prepares the great reprise.

 

Barriers rise, bringing deceptions clear,

Interconnected, Leaving sheep no fear.

Collect your passions, refine your mind,

What once was dust, will soon be left behind.

 

Stay your course, holding the truth close,

Listen sharply, for the voice of his holy ghost.

Loving – kindness, where received grace may abound,

We receive the lesson, bearing a thorny crown.

 

 

“When I say I am a Christian, I’m not shouting I’m Clean living,

I’m whispering ‘I was lost’, Now I’m found and forgiven.

When I say I am a Christian, I don’t speak of this with pride,

I’m confessing that I Stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say I am a Christian, I’m not trying to be strong,

I’m professing that I’m weak, and need his strength to carry on.

When I say I am a Christian, I’m not bragging of success,

I’m admitting I have failed, and need God to clean my mess.

When I say I am a Christian, I’m not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far to visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say I am a Christian, I still feel the sting of pain,

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon his name.

When I say I am a Christian, I’m not holier than thou,

I’m just a simple sinner who recieved God’s grace somehow”

-Maya Angelou

Caught between the cross hairs

In this race I’m trying to lose

Other runners act as though

It’s the other lane I choose

I run with directive

purpose in my stride

My eyes fixed on the finish

Jesus at my side

His blood shed on the cross

while I was on his mind

He’s paid my ransom for me

No sin left behind

He lifts me when I falter

Loves me when I fight

His grace is in abundance

His wisdom brings me light

I run with directive

Purpose in my stride

My eyes fixed on you God

You’ve conquered this divide

 

 

 

‘Religious’ statements confuse me

Why do Christians Idolize ‘satan’?

I am by no means a Bible scholar.  But, I have spent enough time in the church, bible studies, with people, doing my own studies and within the world, to be thoroughly confused by this.

The first commandment is very clear ‘Do not put any other Gods before me’.  And the ‘Good God’ gave the commandments, right? The why are there terms and phrases like:

“Satan is the God of this world”

“Satan has authority in your life”

“Your under attack”

“Satan influenced that person who…(insert something awful here)..”

“I’m anxious because…satan has been…”

“Satan’s been busy today”

“satan, satan, satan”

 

It would appear to me, that in the act of these types of beliefs and statements, ‘satan’ is given power.  My own personal believe is that ‘satan’ is synonymous with ‘ego’ or ‘self-will’.  I do however understand that it is very difficult to accept responsibility for our own fucked up thoughts and actions.  Really though, aren’t we the ones who are physically cast down trying to get back ‘home’ currently?  Do we not act out of free-will?  Trust me, I have begged God, repeatedly, to take my free-will, unfortunately I still make awful decisions, frequently.

Either God created Everything, or not.  Either God is ‘all-powerful’, or not.  I am baffled by the concept of believing in ‘God’ for ‘good’ things and ‘satan’ for ‘bad’ things.  I’m sure the bible also speaks about praising God in everything.  We could start by not giving some things to God, and others to satan.

It’s becoming Idolatry.  We need to take responsibility actions, make changes where necessary and move on.  Having faith that God is what he is, and will be what he will be.

 

I like to search for ‘God’ in everything.  I like to think of ‘God’ as a collective consciousness, flowing through existence.  Today I decided to dive into one of my Favorite books!  Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’.  What is your concept of ‘God’?

– “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”

– “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

– “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where –”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

– “You would have to be half mad to dream me up.”

– “How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another.”

– “In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.”

– “Be what you would seem to be- or, if you’d like it put more simply- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.”

– “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

Isn’t this a beautiful picture of a ‘God’ centered life? Believing the unbelievable.  Expecting the unattainable.  I’ve felt that in order to be a person of any faith, you must be a bit ‘Crazy’ ❤

God doesn’t require a Script

“Do you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
Is he Lord of your life?
Do you have the assurance that
You are going to heaven one day?

If your answer to any of these questions is NO, or I don’t know, please ask Jesus into your heart and life right now by praying this simple prayer in faith.

Father, I know that I am a sinner but you said that if I would confess that I know I have done wrong, You would forgive me.  I know that Jesus is your Son, that he shed his blood and died to wash my sins away and He rose again and is now sitting at Your right hand.  Please come into my life and be my Savior.  Make me whole and make me new but most of all, teach me to love, not as the world loves, but the way You love.  In Jesus name I pray these things. Amen”

Is anyone else slightly uncomfortable after reading this?  I believe we should be.  If you are not, than I believe you have become completely desensitized to the gifts of Wisdom, Reasoning and Free- Will that God has granted.  Sheep amongst a heard of Religious Jargon.  Accepted empty words and idol threats in the place of Faith.

‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’

I was born with what I now call a ’spiritual longing’.  I was not taught of God, But the only thing I have ever truly wanted was to feel his connection.   I had an innate sense for things that may not have been of this world.  I don’t remember my family practicing any particular organized faith.  Shortly after the death of my grandmother, my mother picked up some metaphysical practices.  These included psychics, out of body experiences, deep meditations incorporating chakras, astral projecting and other tactics for ‘connection‘.   I myself began to study any faith or science I could find looking to fill my hole of longing.  I was pleased to surround my people with diverse spiritual practices ranging from pagan through Buddhist to list the well known.  When I found no relief in any of their practices I studied Quantum Physics, believing I was ‘miscalculating the spiritual’ and that Science would somehow explain this desolate desire I possessed.  But ultimately I felt that I was part of an epic tragedy,  like Persephone being siphoned to Hell. I ultimately had a notion that My spirit was from some other plane of existence.  After all there are 7 that we know of?  Is it so hard to believe that perhaps there is life within any of these?… and I had been cast down to this world, bond by emotions, feeling and death because I was meant to learn something I had not yet realized, before I could go home again.   I would have dreams where I appeared as a single shooting star in the black sky.  One more star would always find me in the void.  I would converse; ‘There you are”.  I would say in expectance. “I’ve been waiting for you, please don’t leave me again.”  The dialogue was always the same, and I always woke up into this reality, again…

My mother eventually met a man who ‘led her to Christ’ and she was soon ‘Saved’.  It was only a few years before I followed her lead.  I had spent so much time searching.  She seemed happy.  Her life seemed to be coming together, and she stopped questioning.  I wanted that.  Above all I just wanted to rest and be cared for.  I believed becoming ‘Saved’ was the answer.

Within weeks of being baptized I literally transformed into a person that was borderline intolerable.  I thought I was a ‘Good Christian’.  I changed how I dressed, I needed to be respectable, I was a ‘child of God now’, God adopted me into his family for Christ sake.  I was sure not to swear or use God’s name in vain.  I broke up with my longtime boyfriend because we were ‘living in sin’.  I read the bible daily.  I prayed, listened to ‘Christian’ music and attended several bible studies a week.  I shared ‘the good news’ with my friends, or really anyone who gave me a chance to speak.  I threw out all my old books containing different faith basis, I didn’t want to place anything else before ‘my God’.

To my surprise, even in all these efforts, I felt even more lost and desolate than ever before.  No matter what I did to be a good Christian woman, the truth was, I was still just as lost.  I held faith in the teachings of people instead of the wisdom God planted within the person I am.  The truth is, I have always seen and known God.  You have too.  What is your concept of God?

As I see it;

We are made in the Image of God.  We Are Made In The Image Of God.  Combined, We Are Made In The Image Of God.  It seems as though we are each tiny facets of what makes up a gianormous collective consciousness of what God is.

I believe Jesus is the Son of God.  I believe we are ALL sons and daughters of God.  Not just Christians.  Have we so little faith, in the creator and creation of the universe, that we believe he can only appear through one faith?  Are we that vain?  Maybe we should stop trying to figure out semantics and religion and allow our lives to be brushstrokes of creation.

The only entity with any assurance of what happens after death is GOD.  We can do everything in our power to rebuild ‘the tower of Babel’, but it will continue to fall.  I believe we will be reunited with the source (God), in death.  I also understand that God would like to be fully un masked here, now.  It seems impossible to allow that to happen while were still consumed by selfish motives.  Yes, I believe that acting in a way ‘to get to heaven’ is selfish.  Do the right thing, because it’s the right thing.

Not everything is black and white.  God created everything!  He is the ultimate balance, yin yang, alpha omega, masculine feminine, good and EVIL.  ‘Praise God in the good and the Bad.’  I have found, the only way I can attempt to do this, is to realize that God is present within what feels good and what feels bad.

Confession is a release and admittance.  Repentance is wanting to turn away from something.

If we are not living life comfortable in our own skin, in who we are we are by very nature committing an ultimate sin in not appreciating the perfect creation we are.  Let’s not place God in the ‘Christian’ box.  Let’s allow free flow of spirit by embracing all of who we are including the things we consider less than pleasant.   Can we find the courage to truly embrace our passions and shower the world with gifts?  Can we allow ‘God’ to shine through us?… All of him?

 

Power of the Tongue

Hate is a very strong word. One I prefer not to use, but I am guilty of extreme fits of emotion that feel hateful. The same goes for words like every, always, never, only, promise and the phrase ‘Im telling you the truth’. At this point my faith in the choice words people use is non-existent. But the pain of those words sting none- the -less.

Through Christianity and other faiths teach of blessings and cursing… by definition to Bless someone is to speak well of them and in doing so literally send forth good things their way. To curse someone by speaking ill of them is as sending evil/curses their way.

In 1994 Dr. Masuru Emoto theorized that water would be directly effected by it’s environment in conjunction with human consciousness.  He essentially took twice purified (considered ‘pure’ water), and separated it into multiple containers.  For each specimen Dr. Emoto either spoke a particular word or phrase in a controlled setting, such as ‘love’, ‘peace’, ‘you make me sick, I will kill you’ and so on.  With others he played various types of music including metal, classical and folk.  the effect of prayer or lack there of was also calculated.  The water was then frozen for several days, examined under a dark field microscope while frozen.  And finally photographed.  Each crystal was drastically different than the next.  At a molecular structure water was effected and perhaps changed entirely.  I make reference to this well known experiment only to talk about our physical make- up being comprised of about 70-85% water.  I am of the thought, if basic water molecules are effected in such a way than this proved theory is evidence that our bodies are no different.

Regardless of faithful affiliation or intellect the power of choice in words is evident.  It may feel that emotionally we can become out of control but we stay the masters of our actions.  And when faith a science balance in this way I believe we should accept the lesson.

 

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: