Tag Archive: Health


“We are the center .”

Written By a friend Who I am humbled to know. For over ten years now I have continually watched the evolution of soul and mind within Dajon His selfless good-will and intellect continues to manifest through words. Let them be today’s Devotional. Put down your religious texts, The Truth is Within our Hearts and Minds. Dajon is just one who Clearly illustrates this.

You can view more of his ‘rants’ On face book.

https://www.facebook.com/dajon.fanelli

“We are the center .

In each of our minds – some may call it arrogance , or selfishness – we are the center , and all the world moves about us , and for us , and because of us . This is the paradox of community , the one and the whole m the desires of one often run in direct conflict with the needs of the whole . Who among us has not wondered if all the world is no more than a personal dream ?

I do not believe that such thoughts are arrogant or selfish . It is simply a matter of perception ; we can empathize with someone else , but we cannot truly see the world as another person sees it , or judge events as they affect the mind and the heart of another , even a friend .

But , we must try . For the sake of all the world , we must try . This is the test of altruism , the most basic and undeniable ingredient for society . Therein lies the paradox , for ultimately , logically , we each must care more about ourselves than about others , and yet , if , as rational beings we follow that logical course , we place our needs and desires above the needs of our society , and then there is no community .

I come from The Nether , city of shadows , city of self . I have seen that way of selfishness . I have seen it fail miserably . When self-indulgence rules , then all the community loses , and in the end , those striving for personal gains are left with nothing of any real value .

Because everything of value that we will know in this life comes from our relationships with those around us . Because there is nothing material that measures against the intangibles of love and friendship .

Thus , we must overcome that selfishness and we must try; must care .

I would rather have my physical heart torn from my chest , than have my heart of hearts , the essence of love , the empathy and the need to belong to something bigger than my corporeal form , destroyed .

They are a curious thing , these emotions . How they fly in the face of logic , how they overrule the most basic of instincts . Because , in the measure of time , in the measure of humanity , we sense those self-indulgent instincts to be a weakness , we sense that the needs of the community must outweigh the desires of the one . Only when we admit to our failures and recognize our weaknesses can we rise above them .

Together .”

The Phoenix Rises …D

 

The problem of pain

“The human spirit will not even begin to try to surrender self-will as long as all seems to be well with it…. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
~ The Problem of Pain

I am Weary, Let me Rest

Direct my path in all your ways
sleepless nights leading to challenging days
endless days leave me feeling contrite

swirling thoughts of what i must do
give my life back
remain dependent on you

i see now theres nothing in this world
empty promises, smoke screens, personal gain
lift me above

let me not be effected by cares and concerns
but trust that through time what is meant will be
i am weary let me rest

9/4

♑☥♑

 

Love From Afar

I can’t stop from looking
In hopes you will see
Keep looking through you
Do you want to know me?
Want to Love you for all that you are
Are you willing to step out from afar?
Are you able to accept me in the way I’ve accepted you?
Can you take on all of me, knowing that it’s all true?

I’m no longer wondering
I know where I’m supposed to be
Have you found your place?
Do you know that it’s with me?
I know life is demanding
I know it’s filled with stress
I know that I’m the answer
De-tangle-thought mess

Within your heart we are intertwined
Was it within mine first?
Though I failed to see the line?
I know who you are
Do you want to know me?
Will we get there soon?
Will we be set free?

♑☥♑

 

Epic Love Remains

Though our pasts do not define me
The pictures painted clear
Reflecting where I’ve come from
Redeemed through my fears

Where depression has led
Serenity calls me now
When heartache has followed
Divinity now surrounds

Let me not forget where I’ve come from
But continue to look ahead
hears focused forward
Forged from past’s dread

The picture being painted
The portrait of each life
As diamonds forge from coal
He molds us through past strife

But two who come together
Divinities undying Flame
Two become one
Only Epic love remains

I release you

Would love to release you
instead I give you power
by taking on your pain through resentment

would give anything to let you go
instead you grow stronger

as I remember what was

poison to each other is all we ever were
leaching life or lack there of
dividing up pieces to make the other whole

through addictions and chaos
we would be each others demise
now my eyes are wide open,

you remain blind

placing blame where you can
not recognizing the source
you’ll continue to fall,

rock bottom becoming your foundation

  I hope the best for you
I’m letting you go
release me from your demons
allow my heart to flow

 

Young Folks

Yes, I’m on a music kick. . .

If I told you things I did before, told you how I used to be
Would you go along with someone like me?
If you knew my story word for word, had all of my history
Would you go along with someone like me?

I did before and had my share, it didn’t lead nowhere
I would go along with someone like you
It doesn’t matter what you did, who you were hanging with
We could stick around and see this night through

And we don’t care about the young folks
Talking ’bout the young style
And we don’t care about the old folks
Talking ’bout the old style too

And we don’t care about our own faults
Talking ’bout our own style
All we care ’bout is talking
Talking only me and you

Usually when things have gone this far people tend to disappear
No one will surprise me unless you do
I can tell there’s something goin’ on, hours seems to disappear
Everyone is leaving, I’m still with you

It doesn’t matter what we do, where we are going to
We can stick around and see this night through

And we don’t care about the young folks
Talking ’bout the young style
And we don’t care about the old folks
Talking ’bout the old style too

And we don’t care about our own faults
Talking ’bout our own style
All we care ’bout is talking
Talking only me and you

And we don’t care about the young folks
Talking ’bout the young style
And we don’t care about the old folks
Talking ’bout the old style too

And we don’t care about our own faults
Talking ’bout our own style
All we care ’bout is talking
Talking only me and you
Talking only me and you

Talking only me and you
Talking only me and you

We are all Addicts

So Interesting. Addiction has become a human condition.  Drugs and alcohol are only included in the ‘addiction’.  All of these things are symptoms to the problem, which ultimately is a deeply rooted spiritual problem that manifests in us, just wanting to feel something different than we already do.  We want to change the Gaping hole of destroyed self- worth, condemnation, regret, and a genuine feeling of unhappiness ALL the time.  We try to find labels to make ourselves feel better, or more worthy members of society.  Jobs, relationships, sex, drugs (insert drug of choice here), religion, charity. .  pick your poison.  Bottom line is most of us spend a life time trying to Feel Better.  The ultimate rock bottom, as I see it, Is not over- dosing or ‘loosing it all’.  Rock bottom is when you realize that none of these things work.  None of these things take away the all consuming pain you feel every second of every day.  In fact all of these ‘symptoms’ only contribute to your unyielding burning in the for of guilt and resentment.  I have not yet UN-locked the secret to happiness.  I believe it starts with our thought process, and I’m told a Higher- Power must be present to fill this void we encounter.  For me, I’ve been learning that I am actually in control of my life, and that I am capable of perusing the things I am passionate about.  I still feel a struggle hourly, sometimes momentarily as I fear the next thing that may happen.  But I then have to remind myself that, in the epic storyline of events transpired in my life, everything has seemed to work out.  I do believe in God, a Higher- Power.  I can’t imagine him as a parent figure, My parents, I don’t believe are the best model for this, unless God’s ‘Love’ is conditional.  I suppose I follow a spirituality similar to Nhat Hanh,  I believe ‘being in the image of God’, we posses the power to effect the world around us, beginning with ourselves.  I believe God reveals himself in many forms, personal to the individual who seeks. I see God as a collective consciousness, inhabiting everyone and everything.  I see God as all encompassing ‘good’ and ‘evil’.  He must be? I have been on a quest to find exactly what My Concept of God is.  Though I have not entirely figured it out yet, I know this is the piece I am lacking.  And what my heart is desperately searching for.

 

~ I dreamed I had an interview with God. ~

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.


“If you have the time”, I said …

God Smiled. “My time is eternity, … what questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?” …

God answered; “That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up and then long to be children again. That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, that they forget the present, such that they live neither in the present or the future. That they live as if they will never die and die as if they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while. And then I asked; “As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons that you want your children to learn?”

God replied with a smile. “To learn they cannot make anyone love them, what they can do is let themselves be loved. To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love and it takes many years to heal them. To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness. To learn that there are persons who love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings. To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently. To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they must forgive themselves. And to learn that I am here … ALWAYS.”
~ James J. Lachard (Jim Brown)

Shared From Ariesrising@facebook.com

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around

Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
‘Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa…

And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
‘Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me, yeah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

 

Florence + The Machine

 

 

A little bit of Personal

I’ve been recently posting many pieces of writing, which I have already written.  I feel now is the time to share a personal story..ish.  Let it be known that all of my writing, obviously, is based on personal convictions or experiences.  I share in the hopes that one of you may read and think something like ‘AH! someone else get’s it! I am not alone, and I am certainly not crazy… (or insert personal reflection here).

 

I was Diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 16 years old.  Seems a bit ridiculous, right?  It would seem to me that every 16 year old girl is by definition Bi-Polar.  The ‘Disease’ is characterized (in broad terms) by going from one extreme flipping from one emotional extremity to another.  Or at least this is how I was diagnosed.

 

I suppose I acted in ways that could be checked off on the MD Bipolar checklist for many years.  I was promiscuous, depressed, manic, indecisive.  I abused various drugs, went on shopping sprees…. WHATEVER.  The list of my off color choices goes on and on.  I choose to use the term ‘off color’ for this reason.

 

Today.  I accept who I am in entirety.  I am not ‘Bi Polar’.  I do not suffer from any disorder apart from being a human being trying to find my identity in the world.  I am continuously bombarded with outside influence.  Whether it be the loving advice of friends or family, religious groups (who I believe have the best of intentions) or my own scholarly research.  I believe I am a spiritual being living a human existence.  I believe we all are.  This is why life, feelings and choices feel (FEEL, feeling are such a blessing and a curse) so deeply.  I have allowed myself to be deeply effected by outside sources as opposed to following my own instincts.  I can see how that may appear ‘Bi- Polar’  I suppose in a sense it is.  I have been acting out of accordance with my own soul in an effort to please the world.

 

My point in this rant.  Is to say NO MORE.  I will not allow myself to be defined by the extremities of others extremities.  Instead I will not be defined.  I will simply be.

 

This is only a small piece of the story I hope to share.  Utilizing the poetry and ‘stream of consciousness’ pieces in between as insight.

 

I enjoy a cigarette and a glass of red wine, all the while condemning myself, blinded to the fact that God doesn’t. He loves me with ripped jeans and far too much sarcasm. The truths he speaks to my heart white out my flaws. Listening ears are a prayer request of mine, as well as a heart without judgment. It’s not perfection I seek,  But to find comfort within my imperfection.  Knowing, with my flaws I continue to a perfectly unique creation, essential to the universal design.

 

Never Forget

Whether good or bad hold experience near, let it be guidance through lives paths and it’s fears.

Fear and darkness, blinded to whats ahead, allow yourself strength without the burden of dread.

True love is constant, always unconditional. Without judgment, true friends will reach out when you fall.

It’s up to you to open your heart, let go the unyielding pain you consume from when it was torn apart.

Ridiculous as it seems, life’s highs are the best. More powerful, less destructive than any drug you ingest.

Natural euphoria, bearing no regret. Hold on to nostalgia, incidents you could never forget.Don’t take for granted the positive things you are given. Life without happiness is a life without living.

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