Loving The Little Mermaid clearly set me up for Unhealthy expectations and practices in the world. Watching it now with Tristan, I realize these are the lessons I learned and acted upon after idolizing Ariel.

1. It is the best idea to not only defy your father, but give your whole family a big fuck you, in search of ‘stuff’
2. ‘Stuff’ makes you feel better and gives you hope of a better life.
3. Apart of your world- Everything would be better if I just lived in a completely different world.
4. Fuck finns, I want legs so I can walk, stroll and ask how fire burns.
5. Sharks?! Ariel don’t care, neither do I.
6. When you ‘Love’ someone, the way to get their love reciprocated is to abandon your heritage and home to become like them.
7. Also in this quest to win a lovers ‘Love’ Give up whatever it takes to simply be in their presence.
8. A kiss means someone loves you.
9. If a man finds you half dressed on the shore, unable to speak, he will take you back to his yacht.
10. Even after all this, dad will forgive and turn anyone who has hurt or mislead you into deathly, stagnant, ocean sperm.

Ariel, you are a misguided, weak, spoiled girl… Drunk on a picture of Love resulting in codependency. I feel my faith in you was miss placed as a naive girl. Because you were one of the lucky ones….